bitchy | The British media is completely panicked about the Sussexes’ visit next week

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are due to arrive on British soil in a matter of days, people! I would not be surprised if the Daily Mail put a clock on their front page, ticking down the minutes until Harry and Meghan’s arrival in Manchester. The papers were all geared up for wall-to-wall Sussex content during the Jubbly, and H&M’s lowkey energy really upset them. They had predicted that M&H would strut into Buckingham Palace with a full Netflix crew and thrust Lilibet into the Queen’s hands whilst slapping a corgi. None of that happened. So try, try again. The papers are trying to scandalize their readership in advance of what sounds like a very pleasant, breezy and charity-focused visit from Harry and Meg. Please enjoy:

Meghan and Harry are expected to jet into Britain on Sunday as the ructions continue over the Duchess of Sussex’s transatlantic ‘truth bombs’ in the US media and on her Archetypes Spotify podcast. The couple are returning to the UK for the first time since the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations in early June with Meghan declaring this week that she has upset the Royal Family’s dynamic ‘just by existing’ and experts claimed there is a ‘cold war’ between the Windsors and the Sussexes.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are expected to be in Europe for around six days next week with two confirmed engagements in the UK and one in Germany to promote the next Invictus Games. It remains unclear if they will visit the Queen at Balmoral amid concerns about her health, an ongoing row about their security with the Home Office and Meghan’s barrage of apparent swipes at the royals in the US media, claiming she and Harry had been treated differently and warned she could ‘say anything’.

Royal commentator Richard Fitzwilliams has said that their tie-up with the streaming giant could explain the visit. He said: ‘Their poll ratings have been terrible for a long time, there is a deep rift with the Royal Family which won’t heal soon. I am puzzled why they are coming’.

PR guru and brand expert Mark Borkowski said he expects Meghan to use the trip to gain publicity. He told MailOnline: ‘This remains a Cold War between houses still in conflict. To those outside looking in, it appears that Meghan is constantly looking to intersect the news agenda’. He said that a portrait of Meghan that was remarkably similar to one of Harry’s mother was ‘was perfectly timed at a time the world was remembering Diana’ on the 25th anniversary of her death this week.

Mr Borkowski said: ‘It appears she [Meghan] is a modern celebrity that is defined by her media profile. This is a pedantic explanation to suggest that the visit will be one that will be in the full glare of the media, she will be using every occasion to regenerate her narrative. It’s a new form of photosynthesis – converting media energy to extract the nutrients for continued brand fame’.

[From The Daily Mail]

“I am puzzled why they are coming” – because they’re doing appearances on behalf of One Young World, Invictus Games and WellChild. It’s not a f–king riddle. They announced their visit in advance and explained their itinerary, and Salt Island is still banging their heads against their padded cell, crying “why are they coming???” Again, what this has always been about and what this is still about is CONTROL. The Windsors don’t control the Sussexes. The British media doesn’t control the Sussexes. The Sussexes can come and go as they please. They don’t need the media’s permission. They don’t need the Queen’s permission. All of this conspiratorial bullsh-t about Netflix cameras and “needing” an association with Salt Island is all just a cover for the fact that the British media is entirely out of the loop and they have no way to force their way into the Sussex loop.

PS… I would love it if Meghan made some appearances at the British charities she worked with before, like Mayhew or Smart Works. I bet security will be an issue though, so we shouldn’t get our hopes up.

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