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bitchy | Lindsay Lohan quietly married her bank executive fiance Bader Shammas

I forgot that Lindsay Lohan got engaged last year – she announced her engagement to Bader Shammas last November. The reaction was mostly positive, and it feels like people who grew up watching Lindsay have been rooting for her to get sober and settle down and start working again. I honestly don’t think she’s cleaned up her life that much though, it’s just that she moved to Dubai and we don’t see her mess on a weekly or even monthly basis anymore. I’m sure she’s still the kind of person who does crimes and harasses immigrants. But she got engaged, and now she and Bader Shammas are married, People Magazine confirms. Lindsay posted a nice photo of herself and her new husband with this message:

I am the luckiest woman in the world. You found me and knew that I wanted to find happiness and grace, all at the same time. I am stunned that you are my husband. My life and my everything. ❤️every woman should feel like this everyday

[From Lindsay’s IG]

I’m a little bit surprised by how low-key this was? I mean, clearly there actually is some kind of market for “let’s give Lindsay Lohan yet another chance,” and engagement stories sell, as do wedding stories. She could have milked this and gotten some magazine write-ups and sold the photos to… well, not Vogue, but one of the lower-tier bridal or wedding magazines. Or even Us Weekly, I bet Us Weekly would have bought the photos. It curious that Lindsay was just like “hey we got married” one day on her Instagram. Which adds credibility to my theory that this is some kind of long con to hack into Credit Suisse accounts (Bader works at Credit Suisse). She doesn’t want too much fuss. They’ll never suspect a thing!

Photos courtesy of Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram.

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