bitchy | Gary Goldsmith: Duchess Kate is brilliant as ‘a wife, a mum, a counsel, a partner…’

The Sun published a curious story about the Duchess of Cambridge this weekend: “Kate Expectations: Kate Middleton and Prince William are ready to move on from ‘glorious prison’ of Kensington Palace, say royal experts.” Nevermind the fact that British outlets are increasingly using Kate’s maiden name! The real story is that something seems to have significantly shifted in recent weeks, where Camp Middleton is being incredibly “extra” about how Kate is incredibly important, completely perfect and that everything she does is queenly. To say that someone is laying it on thick is a gross understatement. So, why? Is it just some sleepy summer keenery? Or something more nefarious? Some highlights from this Sun piece, including new quotes from everybody’s favorite nutjob, Dodgy Uncle Gary Goldsmith.

One last Norfolk summer: The family are making the move to Windsor after one final “normal” summer at their country estate of Anmer Hall in Norfolk. They are believed to have the keys to Adelaide Cottage, a four-bedroom house on the Windsor estate. Kate’s uncle Gary Goldsmith says: “William and Kate are going to have their hands full this summer as they move home to be nearer the Queen and settle the kids into a new school. But I think they are ready for the next chapter in their lives.”

Why they’re moving to Windsor: Royal biographer and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, Ingrid Seward, explains: “I think Wills and Kate need space to bring up their children. Kensington Palace is a glorious prison for kids – they want to be able to play football without being watched from behind the gates. I think Windsor will be perfect for them, as they will have lots of freedom and they can all be at school together.”

The kids were “brought up” in Norfolk? Having enjoyed a relatively normal upbringing in Norfolk, it’s inevitable that the children will become more visible following the move, and William and Kate have been preparing them for their role in the public eye.

Kate’s Jubbly mess with Prince Louis: The young Cambridges were front and centre during the Platinum Jubilee celebrations, including enjoying an official visit to Wales in June, and George attended the tennis at Wimbledon with his mum last month. Kate’s reaction to Louis when he became restless during the Jubilee celebrations cemented her place in the heart of the nation, proving that she faces the same challenges as any mother. She gave her youngest a stern talking to after he jumped up and down on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, covered his ears due to the noise from the RAF planes overhead, and pulled funny faces and shook his finger at his mum, before placing his hand over her mouth, at the Jubilee Pageant. Her common touch provoked a swell of support on social media.

Uncle Gary has more to say: “Kate has been brilliant in so many ways – as a wife, a mum, a counsel, a partner, an ambassador, a figurehead and a future queen. She never lets anyone down. She shines in every situation, on every stage, and behaves with class. She is already the one we all watch first as a role model. We are all, as a nation, super-proud of her. The royal family is in safe, beautiful and heaven-sent hands. She has got this in both the good times and the bad times.”

[From The Sun]

“The royal family is in safe, beautiful and heaven-sent hands…” Oh, my. The Middletons are surely worried about something. It’s not just rumors of William’s sexual proclivities either, although I feel like the Middletons are well aware of those rumors and reacting to them partially. I’m genuinely asking: what is going on behind-the-scenes that has the Middletons so unsettled? If Kate and William are – as I’ve long suspected – living separately for the better part of two/three years, why does it feel like DefCon Keen over in Bucklebury? They brought out Uncle Gary, for the love of God.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instar.