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It’s been more than a month since the Sun published Jeremy Clarkson’s violent screed against the Duchess of Sussex, wherein Clarkson described his fantasy of stripping Meghan naked and marching her down the street so people could throw feces at her. Remember, Clarkson said everyone his age agreed with him. He wrote that right after he had lunch with Queen Camilla, his good friend. Camilla was reportedly quite angry… that she was being dragged right alongside Clarkson. Well, Clarkson has a new column at the Sun: “Royal magic is waning, but it is still the best option.” Clarkson almost edges up to an uncomfortable truth, but of course he finds a way to back away from it.
When I was younger, big royal events came along only once in a blue moon. We had the Silver Jubilee in 1977 and Charles and Diana’s wedding in 1981 then after that, nothing. There was more monarchy-based pageantry in North Korea. Now, though, it feels like we are breaking out the bunting and the plastic flags every other weekend. It’s a constant stream of weddings, funerals and jubilees. And it’s not over yet because in May, there’s a Coronation.
It must be a nightmare for the organisers, because how do they make it feel different? And bigger. And better. Fly-pasts down the Mall? Done that. Put Brian May on the roof of the Palace? Done that as well. Soldiers marching up and down? Been doing that for centuries.
Whatever they come up with, though, it’d better be good. Because I have a sneaking feeling there won’t be another Coronation after this one. It’ll be the last.
For many years, there have been questions about the Royal Family. People have said it costs too much and that it’s stupid to have a hereditary head of state. And now, of course, those questions are getting louder. People are saying that thanks to Prince Andrew and Harry’s book, the whole royal thing is broken, that you could take it down to Jay Blade’s Repair Shop barn but the experts would be forced to conclude that all of the king’s horseman and all of the king’s men couldn’t possibly put it back together again.
I see their point. The monarchy is built on a foundation of mysticism. It derives its magic powers from forces we don’t understand. It’s an institution built on fairy dust. And that is lost somewhat when they’re all falling in dog bowls and, like Prince Andrew, giving money to girls they’ve never met.
Ah, don’t you see? People don’t respect the monarchy anymore because of Prince Andrew and Prince Harry! Not the other Windsors, the ones sitting on a billion-dollar empire and going empty-handed to foodbanks. Of course not. And Harry didn’t “fall in a dog bowl” – he was violently assaulted by his brother. William threw Harry to the ground, leaving cuts and bruises. Anyway, Clarkson ends his column with the acknowledgement that “The Australians and Canadians will then excuse themselves, along with most of the rocky islands dotted round the world’s oceans, and then we’ll have a vote here. And everyone will decide they’d rather have an elected president.” Then Clarkson suggests that after Britain elected a president, it will be some reality show buffoon and then, magically, everyone will want William and Kate to be king and queen. As I said, Clarkson almost admitted something real, but then he bungled it. Oh well.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instar and Backgrid.
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North America Rights Only – London, UK -20220510-
State Opening Of Parliament
-PICTURED: Prince William
-PHOTO by: PA Images/INSTARimages.comDisclaimer:
This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at [email protected] or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded
For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing
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North America Rights Only – London, UK -20220510-
State Opening Of Parliament
-PICTURED: Prince William
-PHOTO by: PA Images/INSTARimages.comDisclaimer:
This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at [email protected] or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded
For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing
- Jeremy Clarkson at the World Premiere of Season Two of the Amazon Prime Video Exclusive Series The Grand Tour in Brooklyn. New York City, New York – Thursday December 7, 2017.,Image: 508374398, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS- Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – s[email protected] London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251, Model Release: no, Credit line: Dennis Van Tine / Avalon
- Jeremy Clarkson at the 2021 RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show, East Molesey, Surrey, KT8 9AU, on Press Day, Monday 5 July 2021. All usages must be credited Sue Andrews/Avalon.,Image: 619797626, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: Rights Managed, Model Release: no, Credit line: Sue Andrews / Avalon
- Britain’s Prince Charles, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and Prince William proceed behind the Imperial State Crown through the Royal Gallery for the State Opening of Parliament at the Palace of Westminster in London, Britain, May 10, 2022.,Image: 690010344, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: HANNAH MCKAY / Avalon
- Prince Charles processes along the Royal gallery with the Duchess of Cornwall and Prince William during the ceremonial state opening of Parliament which The Queen was unable to attend due to her health.,Image: 690017831, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: RICHARD POHLE / Avalon
- Prince Charles processes along the Royal gallery with the Duchess of Cornwall and Prince William during the ceremonial state opening of Parliament which The Queen was unable to attend due to her health.,Image: 690018043, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: RICHARD POHLE / Avalon
- LONDON, ENGLAND – MAY 10: Prince Charles, Prince of Wales looks towards the Imperial State Crown as he delivers the Queen‚Äôs Speech during the state opening of Parliament at the House of Lords on May 10, 2022 in London, England. The State Opening of Parliament formally marks the beginning of the new session of Parliament. It includes Queen’s Speech, prepared for her to read from the throne, by her government outlining its plans for new laws being brought forward in the coming parliamentary year. This year the speech will be read by the Prince of Wales as HM The Queen will miss the event due to ongoing mobility issues.,Image: 690035436, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Dan Kitwood / Avalon
- Automotive journalists, of the creators of the “Grand Tour” program James May (2L), Jeremy Clarkson (R) and Richard Hammond (L) during his visit to Krakow, Poland, 24 June 2022. British journalists are preparing in Poland one of the episodes of the new, fourth series of the program.,Image: 702406277, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: POLAND OUT, Model Release: no, Credit line: Lukasz Gagulski / – / Avalon
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ITV Autumn Entertainment launch at Television Centre, Wood Lane.
Featuring: Jeremy Clarkson
Where: London, England, United Kingdom
When: 30 Aug 2022
Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARi/Cover Images**North America Rights Only**
- North America Rights Only – London, UK -20220510- State Opening Of Parliament -PICTURED: Prince William, Prince Charles, Camilla Duchess of Cornwall -PHOTO by: PA Images/INSTARimages.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at [email protected] or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing
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