When We Talks

bitchy | Carson Daly and his wife had a ‘sleep divorce’ and are sleeping apart


I heard this soundbite on the radio the other day. They said that Carson Daly and his wife Siri Daly had gotten a, “sleep divorce. Find out what that is after the break,” but I got out of the car before I heard the rest. So when I saw the headline I circled back to it out of curiosity. It was mostly what I expected it to be: Carson and his wife sleep in different beds. Apparently, this has been known for two years because Carson gave an interview to People about it in 2019. Carson said that when his wife was in her third trimester with their fourth child, they realized sharing a bed was an issue for both of them. Between his sleep apnea and their tossing waking each other up, they just weren’t sleeping well. So they started sleeping in separate beds, something he said was “the best thing for all of us.” The reason we are coming back to this story now is because Carson told his Today show coworkers that they have found another solution, something called the Scandinavian sleep method, which is same bed, separate blankets. So now Carson and Siri have reconciled to a “sleep separation.”

Marriage is a lot of hard work. But, of course, not all marriages struggle in the same way — some couples struggle with communication, matching their sex drives, or parenting styles. No matter what might be rocking your boat, sometimes a little bit of advice goes a long way. And the celebrity marriage advice we’ve heard in a long time came from Carson Daly. Yes, really.

In 2019, Carson revealed that he and his wife, Siri Daly, were getting “divorced,” but in sleep only. When they were expecting their fourth child, Carson said at the time that they realized something just wasn’t working.

So, they came up with a creative solution that worked for both. “We woke up and we just shook hands like, ‘I love you, but it’s time to sleep divorce. It’ll be the best thing for all of us,’” he said, and that’s what they’ve been doing since.

Carson recently shared on The Today Show that since deciding to sleep in separate beds in what they call a “sleep divorce” in 2019, the two are still, mostly, sleeping apart. While joking that they’ve “reconciled” and he now considers himself “sleep separated” from his wife, they two still do believe that getting creative about how you sleep can be a good thing.

During the June 17 segment on The Today Show, Carson introduced the Scandinavian sleep method that’s quickly rising in popularity. It’s similar to what Carson and Siri did when they needed restful sleep, but instead of sleeping in separate beds, it’s separate blankets.

“You have your own comforters or duvets,” Carson explained. “Studies have actually found that sleeping with the same blanket can result in more interrupted sleep, as much as 30 percent.”

[From Fatherly]

Like I said, I assumed this was about separate beds when I heard the blurb on the radio. But when I read the article and saw the decision was made during Siri’s fourth pregnancy, my mind went to different reasoning. If I was on my fourth kid, I’d keep my husband the hell away from me as well! But the not sleeping thing makes perfect sense. I’m going to be nit-picky here and say I hate the “sleep divorce” name, especially considering this is done for the couples’ overall health. It seems like a stigmatizing term and Carson isn’t the only one using it. There’s nothing wrong with sleeping in separate beds, regardless of the reason the couple chooses to do it. I have not, however, heard any celebrity discuss that sort of sleeping arrangement so it’s nice that Carson was comfortable going public with it. I’m sure there were couples who appreciate him normalizing it.

As for this idea of separate blankets, I’m intrigued. The article the excerpt linked is a fairly detailed study about how lack of sleep messes up everything, which it does. Here’s a more succinct description of the Scandinavian sleep method (and an article on how to make double blankets look cute!) My husband and I slept apart for two weeks during my quarantine, but it didn’t improve my sleep. I, however, had Covid so I was not a great sample group. In regular conditions, though, we’re both insomniacs. I wake up easily and stay awake and he can’t fall asleep. When we moved, we switched from a queen bed to a king bed, and I swear it’s made everything worse. It’s like every movement ripples across that stupid mattress. But I’m willing to try the dual blanket idea to see if that’s the culprit instead. Of course, we have a dog on our bed at night, so we’ll need three blankets. And a guest blanket for when the cat decides to sleep with us. We’ll tell the kids to bring their own when they come in. I guess instead of the Scandanivian sleep method, I’ll be following the Camping sleep method.

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Photo credit: Backgrid, Instagram, Getty Images and Avalon Red


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