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bitchy | 50-year-old Dane Cook ‘can’t wait’ to impregnate his 23-year-old fiancee

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Even by Dane Cook’s own squirrelly account, he likely met his fiancee Kelsi Taylor when she was an underage teenager. She was a friend of a friend, and Kelsi was brought along to Dane’s house for a “game night.” She was probably 16 or 17 at the time, and he was in his 40s. They became official the second she turned 18 years old, and they’ve been together ever since. They live together, she’s a Pilates instructor and nutritionist and I hope she has her own friends. She’s now 23 years old and he’s 50 years old. He proposed to her over the summer and now he’s very eager to have children with his very young fiancee. From People’s exclusive:

He can’t wait to be a dad: “I can’t wait to be very honest with you. I’m just excited at the possibility. Her sister just had her second baby and I love seeing her with the kid. She loves it and I love kids. When the time is right, we’ll check it out.”

What kind of parent he wants to be: “I could see myself hopefully as the kind of dad that loves to listen, loves to be there, loves to collaborate, but still teach you to set those boundaries and only want to pull the best out of yourself. If I could implement that message. Isn’t this the part now where you go, ‘That’s not the kid you get,’ and you get something completely different? You’re on their journey and I’m sure that’s what it becomes.”

His late father: “I was just talking to Kelsie about it the other day, saying, ‘I like that mix of the idea of there’s fun, there’s joy and energy, but you still want those boundaries.’ My dad was good at being the disciplinarian when he wasn’t being fun, and I go, ‘I think I’d be like that.’ My dad could be a no b—–it, no-nonsense, don’t be a talker, be a do-er.”

Wedding planning: “We don’t have a date, but we’re moving towards [one]. We just want to enjoy this whole thing. It was also like, we’re engaged and then all this stuff is happening. It’s kind of like, ‘Let’s finish work,’ and then we have some great travel plans through the fall and winter. I think we’re probably going to be right around next fall.”

[From People]

I’m not an evil person, I swear, but I hope Kelsi dumps him before the wedding. I hope she has that moment of realization that she’s about to marry a 50-year-old with too much Botox. I hope she finds a good therapist too, because Dane Cook groomed her when she was a teenager. As for the rest of it… I hope he’s not pressuring her to have a baby before she’s ready. I know some 23-year-olds are ready and God bless. But that’s still super-young to be saddled with a 50-something husband and a baby.

Photos courtesy of WENN/Avalon and Instagram.



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